I have had motorbikes on my mind a lot since my trip to Da Lat with Denise, it always astounds me how deeply affecting a road trip can be, how it can seem to refill your energy tanks, and blow off your cobwebs. Of course it can be disastrous too, with breakdowns or weather hampering the journey, or of course worse. But that is life is it not? And that got me thinking, in fact it has had me thinking for the last couple of weeks, along with an unusual urge to write it down. Strange but true. So to sum up two weeks of sporadic contemplation:
Motorbiking to me is just like life. You get bumpy parts of the road; pot holes to fall into. You can get wet, and cold, and fog can blind your path. Occasionally you break down. Or you take the wrong turn. But if you can keep going then you can find yourself on the right road; with good visibility and a smooth ride, the sun on your back and the freedom of the road ahead. And occasionally you find unexpectedly good coffee along the way too.
My apologies to all my followers (I even lost 3) for my absence for the last week, and for the last day of posting, which was very negative. I woke up that morning so angry, so bitter. I was staying at a beach on the coast of Vietnam, had decided to get out of Nha Trang for a bit. Surrounded by this tropical paradise, I should have woken up relaxed and at peace. Instead I woke up full of vitriol.
So that morning I started writing some of my thoughts down:
I think I have been very naive and ignorant. I think I have been a fool. I have always believed that people could change. That they would change. I think I always believed that a few people could make a difference. I think I have always, simply, believed in people. Believed that they would do the right thing, in the end. Believed in a Hollywood style happy ending.
But of course it wasn’t belief, it was hope. Not just hope, but bullshit. The evidence is all around us. It’s 2012. how long ago were the 60’s? Are we any more free than we were then? Of course not. Is the world considerably worse off now than it was then? Yes. In 60 years we’ve managed to ravage our world, lose our freedom, be behind some of the worse atrocities of war in the name of defence, and now live in a world of fear. We lost then as we continue to lose now. Even as I write this, we might allow SOPA to be passed. WTF?! This, in itself, is a reason act. It’s now 2012, and we still go about our day to day grime and monotony. Most still watch utterly soulless dumb television which sucks any notions of real thought out of our heads. We still allow the completely biased and controlled reporting by journalists dominate our headlines and tv news. We still allow primary forests to get ripped down (Australia, wtf?) We still allow the overfishing of our seas (oh but the poor fishywishymen will lose their livelihoods, and that’s far more important than our long-term sustainability….), etc etc etc.
You know what? I want to rip our society down. I want to see money keep us warm, by burning it. I want every tv in all the countries to implode, so people wake up to the real world……
But then it dawned on me what I had just written. “I want to rip our society down”. All the other stuff fair enough, but the bit “I want to rip our society down”?
Fuck. Do I? Do I really? Are these MY thoughts, my actually wants and beliefs that I am writing down? Do I want to put the lives of millions of humans at risk by bringing destruction and chaos to this world? Is that the best course for this world? I realised that my anger for the wrongs of this world had totally got control of my emotions, and now controlled my thoughts.
So I jumped on my motorbike, and went for a ride. And I haven’t been on tumblr for a week. And I researched. And I read. I discovered great websites. I decided to get knowledge on my side, not emotions. So that’s why I have been away. Sorry but I needed it.
And so I think you’ll notice differences to my posts now. I will add more of my thoughts, so I hope you still stay interested. I’ve never thanked any of my followers for following me, or even asked why. But it’s true what they say, I appreciate every one of you. But I want to get talking, get debating. Lets share links and ideas. If I post something and it creates a reaction, let me know, good or bad.